Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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