I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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