Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the raccoons are back...
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