I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My pussy is not your playground.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
