He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
