I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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