Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
