Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
