Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
