I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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