Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
how do flat chested girls get laid?
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Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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