Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
