No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
