i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
