She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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