Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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