I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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