Pants 0. Shit 1.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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