North Korea, Best Korea!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm just crazy horny about you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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