But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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