I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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