feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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