awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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