That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
