ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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