Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
