my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize