She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
