every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize