Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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