I think I am morally bankrupt
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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