Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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