Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just forgot I was standing up.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
