we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize