those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
