so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
