The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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