do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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