The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
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you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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