i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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