It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
