fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize