So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
