i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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