this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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