you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
