If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
