I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
