Your dad touched me again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
