Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize