I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize