Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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