mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
