Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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