i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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