Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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