ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Terrible idea I love it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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