my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
