girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
