i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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