He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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