i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
