Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Dignity is for republicans.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
