cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
