How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
