I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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