just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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