I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
