By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
