i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
